An organization created to support breast cancer patients and their families is expanding its reach.
Little Pink Houses of Hope, launched in 2011 in North Carolina by Jeanine Patten-Coble, treated 10 families to a free vacation last week in Bethany Beach, its third visit to the Sussex County town and one of 14 such retreats scheduled nationwide this summer.
Delaware Public Media producer Ben Szmidt visits Little Pink Houses of Hope retreat in Bethany Beach
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Families from as far as Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Michigan, and Florida joined others from Maryland, Pennsylvania and New Jersey in converging on Bethany, where they stayed in beach houses that sometimes rent for up to $10,000 a week and took part in a diverse menu of activities, including paddle boarding, kayaking and canoeing, a cruise on Rehoboth Bay and leisurely stays at the beach, not to mention a crab feast and a pig roast. And there was also a “date night” for the moms and dads, while the Little Pink volunteer chaperones took the kids for pizza, a firehouse tour and a round of miniature golf.
“We are a lucky bunch of people,” says Sherry Pelosky of Scituate, R.I., a breast cancer survivor who attended the first Little Pink vacation retreat in North Carolina in 2011 and was so moved by the experience that she returns as a volunteer every summer.
“My husband and I were so overwhelmed that a whole community could come together to make this week so special for us that we decided we had to do it for other families,” Pelosky says.
Her commitment is hardly unique. Eight of the 10 volunteers assigned to work with individual families are breast cancer patients who had been on a retreat before, according to Stacy Shepps, coordinator of the Bethany retreat.
”It’s contagious,” says Shepps, a breast cancer survivor who lives in Middletown.
One of those volunteers is Monica Ross of North Tonawanda, N.Y., who went on a retreat two years ago. The volunteers at that retreat, she recalls, “were at our beck and call. It was like being on an all-inclusive in Mexico. You had a great time and you weren’t alone. I wanted to give back.”
In addition to serving as a host for one family, Pelosky carried a camera almost everywhere she went in Bethany, taking pictures of families experiencing the joy of a week taking pictures of families experiencing the joy of a week without the combined pressures of medical appointments, chemotherapy and radiation along with the stresses of work and chauffeuring the kids to their multiple activities.
“It’s not all about mom being sick,” Shepps says. “It’s all about the family unit.”
Not only does the retreat give families some precious time together, it also enables them to make new friends and share experiences with others in similar situations.
“Camaraderie is the best medicine. That’s the truth,” says Jen Minute, a 37-year-old pension consultant from St. Louis, who appreciates the opportunity to socialize with other women her own age after finding herself on the lower end of the age spectrum in support groups back home. “I’ve met some amazing women from all over the country,” she says.
“We’ve made a lot of friends. It’s nice to be around people who understand,” adds Jenny Eiker of Niles, Mich. “There’s a family here from Chicago. That’s not far from us. We plan to keep in touch.”
The quick blossoming of those friendships was evident on a windy, drizzly morning at the Rehoboth Bay Sailing Association. While many of the adults tried kayaking or canoeing in the choppy, chilly bay waters, others stood on the narrow beach, watching closely and shouting words of encouragement. The children, playing cornhole and other games nearby, blended together as if they had been lifelong friends.
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In the association’s upstairs clubhouse, families shared tables as they enjoyed a lunch of fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw and brownies prepared by a group of Bethany Beach residents.
“The families intertwine,” Shepps says. “It’s like this little family reunion. When you look in at them, you would think these are people who have known each other for a long time.”
“The people are great, the volunteers are great,” says Eiker’s husband, Alan. “We’ve had kayaking, swimming, paddle boarding, a boat ride, lunches and dinners. It’s amazing.”
Besides sharing those activities with his wife and their 3-year-old son, Kayden, Alan Eiker has been able to learn how other husbands are coping with their situations. “We’ve talked to a couple of guys. It’s nice to talk to somebody who’s going through the same thing.”
“We’ve met people from all over the country,” adds Todd Williams of Pittsburgh, who was in Bethany with his wife, Laura, and their two children.
“This is just wonderful,” Laura Williams says. “It allows us to escape from treatment, chemo, radiation, the entire cancer journey, for a week, to relax and spend some time with my family.”
The 38-year-old’s journey has been difficult. First diagnosed six years ago, she minces no words in describing her situation. “I’m stage four. The cancer has progressed to my bones and my liver. I’m considered terminal at this point. I get a targeted treatment every three weeks,” she says. “You just do the best you can.”
For these women, “doing the best you can” means doing things they might not have dreamed of doing when they were first diagnosed, and showing their children what they are capable of accomplishing.
Every one of the mothers succeeded in paddle boarding on Rehoboth Bay last week, said volunteer Jesse Shepps, Stacy’s daughter, who heard Patten-Coble describe the program while she was a student at Elon University in North Carolina, became a volunteer and encouraged Patten-Coble to start scheduling retreats in Bethany.
“It’s empowering to do something like [paddle boarding] that after surgery and chemotherapy,” Pelosky added, recalling how she impressed her daughter with that achievement three years ago. When children see their mothers mastering such challenges, she says, they become more confident that they will also be able to overcome the challenge of fighting cancer.
Retreat participants routinely use words like “amazing” and “overwhelming” to describe their experience and they repeatedly say how lucky or fortunate they were to have been chosen.
Indeed, the retreats have grown so popular, Patten-Coble says, that there are now more than 900 applications received for each opening. While families are responsible for providing their own transportation to and from retreat sites, they pay nothing for their beach house, their lunches and dinners and for the scheduled activities. Volunteer shoppers also stock the beach houses with breakfast and snack foods.
Patten-Coble developed the program by creating what she calls a “ridiculously simple model”: identifying beach towns and “leveraging the compassion and generosity of the community.” Little Pink estimates the value of each family vacation at about $5,000, but the donations of beach houses, meals and other services brings the out-of-pocket cost for the organization down to $563 per family, and that is covered by donations and fundraisers organized by and for the non-profit group, Patten-Coble says.
Patten-Coble, diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, remembers doctors telling her that she had but one year to live. She’s in remission now, and will celebrate her five-year “cancerversary” on June 15. “I’m thankful to have a front row seat to the goodness of the world,” she says.
Not every retreat participant is so fortunate. For some, Patten-Coble and Shepps acknowledge, this vacation is the last one they’ll ever take.
To Ann Raskauskas, the realtor who arranges the housing for the Bethany retreats, the value of the Little Pink retreats is best summed up in a thank you from one of last year’s participants. “All the gifts we receive are wonderful,” the woman told her, “but what you are doing best is creating a family memory, and that will last forever.”