Delaware Public Media

Scott Simon

Why don't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent.

I'm a father. I tell dad jokes.

See that farmer? A man outstanding in his field.

Peter Sokolowski, editor at large of Merriam-Webster, defined dad jokes for us as "an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny."

Did you see that documentary about beavers? What a great dam show ...

Linda Fairstein won fame prosecuting criminals and then wrote crime fiction. Did she allow her gift for fiction to guide her powers as a prosecutor?

For 25 years, Linda Fairstein led sex crimes unit of the Manhattan District Attorney's Office, which inspired Law and Order: SVU. She's written bestselling crime novels, like Blood Oath and Death Dance, about a hard-nosed, tenderhearted Assistant DA Alexandra Cooper who eats in a lot of New York's classiest Italian restaurants on a public servant's salary.

Now there's a mystery.

Bild is a tabloid, a German daily newspaper best-known for blaring headlines, fleshy photos and breathless coverage of gossip and scandals.

But this week, the newspaper ran a kippah on its front page: a Jewish skullcap that signifies reverence for God above. It's blue and white, with Stars of David. Readers could cut out the kippah and wear it.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read.

The mother has come to Hartford, Conn. after living through a hellscape of war in Vietnam. She goes to work at a nail salon, smokes Marlboro Reds, and more than once — more than 20 times — beats her son. But she tells herself, "I'm not a monster. I'm a mother."

The son, known as Little Dog, bears some resemblance to his author, Ocean Vuong.

Quinn Christopherson is the winner of the 2019 Tiny Desk Contest, but there were many other outstanding performances among this year's 6,000-plus entries. Weekend Edition will highlight just some of those over the coming months.

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Nearly a half-century ago, in the summer of 1971, the young singer-songwriter Cass Wheeler entered a studio in London to record "Common Ground." A wistful acoustic-guitar and piano-dri

I want to thank politicians for promoting a new cliché I now deploy to avoid giving direct answers to my daughters.

When they ask, "Can we get a second dog?" "Can we learn how to drive?" or "Can we go camping?" I now tell them, "Well, I think we should have that conversation."

It's not "yes." It's not "no." It's not even "maybe," "I dunno," "I haven't thought about it" or "we'll see."

"We should have that conversation" is a strategic nonanswer. It buys time. It can mean anything. It can mean nothing. It implies understanding. It avoids actual agreement.

The next time anyone reports the results of a poll or survey, even NPR, remember: A new survey says 51% of the adults in America splash around in swimming pools instead of showering or bathing.

Further results get even yuckier. Forty percent of American confess that they — how to put this delicately? — have voided in pools. Experts warn the resulting effluence reduces the antiseptic potency of the chlorine.

Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

SCOTT SIMON, HOST:

On April 19, 1775, the "shot heard 'round the world" was fired on the Lexington, Mass. town green. No one knows for sure who fired the shot, but when British soldiers heard it, they panicked. The red coats fired at members of the local militia, killing eight and wounding 10. With that, the Revolutionary War had begun.

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